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I couldn’t think of an eating disorder-related topic to write about that fit with this being the month of Christmas. What easily came to mind, though, was what all the patients I work with struggle so hard for - to overcome the eating disorder(s) that controls their lives. I strongly believe that people can get beyond food and weight issues and live their lives with the freedom they deserve. I personally know, and have met, too many people who have fully recovered to question whether it’s possible. But what does "recovery" really mean? There are phases to recovery, all of which are important and necessary. A beginning phase is to stabilize eating and restore weight to a level where therapy can be effective. While this sounds simple, it can take many, many months to accomplish. During this time, trust between therapist and patient begins developing as fears about food and weight are managed together. Many believe that when a good weight is reached the eating disorder is gone. A person is not recovered because a weight is reached or when eating disorder behaviors subside, yet recovery can’t occur without these important milestones. Another phase is to begin moving away from all of the "safe" foods and allowing oneself permission to eat as much of whatever is desired. During this phase, letting go of control of food and numbers (weight, calories, fat grams, measuring, etc.) allows the underlying feelings, memories and experiences to surface so they can be processed and resolved. Learning to eat when hungry, continue eating until full and allowing whatever is eaten to digest is paramount to learning how to trust one's body rather than follow all the rules of the eating disorder. Trying to improved self-esteem when there is no self is not possible. Another phase is to develop beliefs about oneself and one's body that will support normal eating and a strong sense of self. Identifying, admitting, accepting and seeking out everyday needs and wants is critical Learning to accept all of the positive qualities others see, as well as believing that one is a deserving, worthwhile, valid human being capable of thinking, being, contributing, doing, and impacting their world in ways no one else can, is also critical. Without this, full recovery doesn't happen. The more time spent in the confines of an eating disorder, the further away one gets from having any sense of self or identity. Recovery means feeling safe; trusting oneself; developing and experiencing peace, fulfillment and contentedness; freely expressing thoughts and feelings; no longer fearing rejection; feeling centered within oneself; believing in ones value as an individual; figuring out, knowing and seeking out needs and wants; relishing in ones uniqueness; trusting, all the way, those who have earned it; feeling truly deserving of love, attention and time given by others; no longer living life in fear of the unknown; feeling competent, taking risks in new endeavors knowing that "failing" won't even be an option; doing things purely for enjoyment and just because, having balance. The only reason the list ends here is due to the space constraints of this column! Recovery is obviously an incredibly complex process that transcends diet food and weight issues most people believe eating disorders are about. Real recovery takes a long time and moves through many phases some expected and some unexpected. Recovery can be hard and difficult to face, but it is truly worth it. Recovery means being able to live life to the fullest everyday no matter what. To each person suffering from an eating disorder, my Christmas wish is that you find recovery at some point in your life - it doesn’t matter when - because you are definitely worth it.
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