2,4,6,8 - Let’s Learn How to Regulate!

2,4,6,8 - Let’s Learn How to Regulate!

🌟 Comfort and Calm: Guiding Kids to Understand and Manage Big Feelings

The framework for understanding emotional regulation is finally coming together, and the following concepts are key to diving in.

This post explores a powerful idea: Some feelings make our bodies feel comfortable, and some make us feel uncomfortable.

We will look at what happens when children get stuck in a big feeling—and how to decide whether to stay there or help them shift into a better place. When children are ready to feel better, we’ll learn how to choose a coping tool that supports them.

Two Big Categories of Feelings

To help kids better understand emotions, it is helpful to teach that all feelings fit into two simple groups:

😌 Comfortable Feelings

These are the emotions that make the body feel good—relaxed, light, open, and calm. We naturally prefer how these feel inside.

😫 Uncomfortable Feelings

These are the emotions that make the body feel tight, heavy, or tense. These are the feelings we typically dislike. 😬

To help children truly feel the difference, a simple physical practice is recommended:

  • Squish it up: Practice squishing their bodies super tight to notice what tense and uncomfortable feels like.

  • Let it go: Then, letting everything go to notice what relaxed and comfortable feels like.

This simple physical experience helps children understand how emotions show up inside their bodies. With this awareness, they can be guided toward wanting to feel comfortable—and being willing to use tools that help them get there.

Deepening the Learning: Two Simple Activities

🏡 Build Associations

Invite children to come up with real-life examples of both body states. These images help kids connect sensations to actual moments in their lives.

State Examples
Comfortable Sitting on a yummy couch with a cozy blanket, Snuggling into a warm bed
Uncomfortable Sitting on a hard wooden bench with no cushion, Feeling squeezed in a crowd


🗂️ Sort the Emotions

Using lists or cards of emotions (like those from an Emotional Awareness Package, available for purchase HERE), have the child sort them into two categories:

  • Comfortable

  • Uncomfortable

This hands-on activity helps them recognize how each emotion feels in their bodies.

The Best Visual Ever: The Glitter Jar

Making a glitter jar is simple, fun—and an amazing way to teach emotional regulation.

  • Shake it up: The swirling glitter shows what it’s like when the body feels tense, squished, and uncomfortable (that "big feeling" feeling).

  • Let it settle: As the glitter drifts down, children watch calm settle in—just like their bodies can feel relaxed and comfortable.

Afterwards, ask: "How are you feeling? Calm? Relaxed?"

A glitter jar is more than a craft—it's a coping tool kids (and adults!) can use again and again.

✨ Make Your Own Glitter Jar!

Materials

  • Clear jar or bottle with a tight lid

  • Warm water

  • Clear glue or glitter glue

  • Glitter (any colors!)

  • Food coloring (optional)

  • Spoon or stick for stirring

Instructions

  1. Fill the jar: Pour warm water until the jar is about $3/4$ full.

  2. Add glue: Add 1–2 tablespoons of clear glue (more glue = slower glitter movement).

  3. Add glitter: Sprinkle in as much as desired.

  4. Add color (optional): A few drops of food coloring.

  5. Mix: Stir well until everything dissolves.

  6. Top it off: Add more water, leaving a little space at the top.

  7. Seal: Tighten the lid and shake to watch the magic!

Tip: Add a few drops of glycerin or baby oil to slow the glitter and make it extra mesmerizing.

Choosing a Coping Tool

Once children can tell the difference between comfortable and uncomfortable emotions, they are ready for the next step: thinking of a way to help themselves.

The role of the parent is simply to gently guide. Try asking:

“Do you want to stay stuck… or are you ready to think of a way to help yourself?”

Emotions happen. They are real, they matter, and they show up for a reason. But understanding them allows children to take charge of what happens next.

So how do we help ourselves?

We use a coping tool—a strategy that helps bring the body back to calm and comfort. A coping tool might mean:

  • Using the brain: Imagining a peaceful place, talking kindly to oneself.

  • Using the body: Deep breathing, stretching, squeezing hands.

  • Using another person: Asking for support, a hug, or someone to listen.

Coping tools don't make the feeling disappear, but they do help the body settle so the moment can be handled safely and in a healthy way.

👟 Finding the Right Fit

Coping tools aren’t one-size-fits-all.

It’s just like walking into a shoe store. One must look around, choose a pair, try them on, and walk around to see how they feel. Sometimes a few tries are needed before finding the shoe that truly fits—only then is it taken home.

Coping tools work the same way. Kids have to try different strategies until they discover what really helps them. Once they find the tool that fits, they can make it theirs—and use it whenever they need it.

The five senses come to the rescue when using coping tools. So many calming strategies are supported by our senses—it’s amazing how the body can help regulate itself.

Introducing The Coping Tools Workbook

The Coping Tools Workbook is a fantastic way to introduce a child to a variety of practical, easy-to-use strategies they can use for any emotion! You can purchase the coping tools workbook in both digital download and physical formats HERE. 

 

Thanks for reading, and happy regulating! 

 

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