Rules: The Instructions to Life’s Game

Rules: The Instructions to Life’s Game

When I coach children who struggle behaviorally or socially, the very first skill I begin with is rules. Even though kids have heard the word a thousand times (and probably rolled their eyes just as many 🙄🙄), really understanding why we have rules makes the whole idea feel so much easier. It also gives them a sense of ownership: I’m not just following rules because someone said so—I’m following them for a purpose.

Rules are simply boundaries—and everyone, kids and adults alike, needs them. Yes, even us grown-ups when we’re stuck waiting on line 🛒, or following directions from that one person who clearly lives for their moment of authority 🎤😎 (“Ma’am, please step behind the yellow line!” 🚧). We’ve all met them!

Teaching children to be aware of rules builds their social awareness 👥—helping them understand how their actions affect others. It also strengthens self-awareness 🪞, because it encourages them to reflect on their own behavior. Do they typically follow rules easily ✅, or do they struggle with the concept ❌? 🤔

As parents, the way we introduce and talk about rules makes all the difference. When we explain the why behind a rule, we help our children buy into it 💡—and suddenly, rules feel less like resistance 🚫 and more like a roadmap to cooperation, growth, and success 🚀✨.

🎲 Rules: The Instructions to Life’s Game

Rules are like the instructions to a game. 🎯 You can’t really play unless you either read the directions—or someone who already knows how to play the game explains it to you. Just like instructions help you enjoy a game, rules help you get through the day.

Rules usually fall into two categories:

  1. Rules that keep us safe. 🦺

  2. Rules that help things run smoothly. 🛠️

🦺 Safety Rules

Let’s start with safety rules.
These are the rules that protect us from getting hurt.

👉 For example:

  • Wearing a seatbelt in the car 🚗.

  • Walking, not running at a pool 🏊♀️. (Because no one wants to end up doing a belly flop on the concrete 🤦♀️).

Now, enhance your child’s ability to think by having them come up with some safety rules of their own. Break it down into these categories to make it easier:

  • What is a safety rule you follow at school 🏫?
    Prompt: “School is where you belong, and safety rules there—like staying in the building or going only where a teacher says—help keep you protected.”

  • What is a safety rule you follow at home 🏡—especially in the kitchen?
    Prompt: “Like not touching the hot stove, or waiting for an adult to cut with a sharp knife.” (Nobody wants to explain to the ER doctor that dinner prep got a little too adventurous 🍳🔪).

  • What is a safety rule you follow when playing outside with friends 🤸♂️?
    Prompt: “Think about things like wearing your helmet 🪖 or staying where an adult can see you 👀.”

💬 Noticing and Praising

✨ As you go about your day, pause together and notice the rules that you and your child follow automatically—the ones that have become second nature. Point them out!

Parent script examples:

  • “Hey, did you notice how you automatically put on your helmet without me telling you? That shows you care about staying safe. 🪖👏”

  • “I saw how careful you were in the kitchen. You waited for me before touching the stove—that was really smart and safe. 🍳✅”

The more children feel recognized for doing the right thing, the more confident they’ll be in continuing to do it. 💪🌟

Rules That Keep Things Running Smoothly

If there were no rules to keep things orderly, life would be complete chaos. We as adults wouldn’t be able to accomplish what we need to. Imagine walking into a supermarket with no aisles, no order, and no checkout counters. 🛒🥒🍞 Food and goods would be scattered everywhere. Would we actually get our shopping done? (Personally, since I hate grocery shopping, I might not mind an excuse to skip it altogether! 🙃😂)

That’s why we need rules—to create structure and keep things moving smoothly. ⚖️✨

When I explain this to kids, I frame it around “we all have a job to do.”

  • At school, their job is to be a student 📚✏️.

  • The teacher’s job is to teach 👩🏫📝.

If there are no rules in place, the student can’t learn, and the teacher can’t teach. Just like the supermarket needs aisles and cashiers 🧾💵, a school needs rules so everyone can do their job.

💡 Try this at home: Hand your child a box of Legos, puzzle pieces, or random toys 🧩🧸. First, dump them all in one big pile with no containers. Ask: “How would you find what you need?” 🤯 Then give them bins or baggies and sort the pieces. Suddenly it’s easier to build, play, and clean up. 🪣✅ That’s what rules do—they keep things running smoothly so everyone can focus on their “job.”

👉 So yes, to children, rules—especially the ones that simply keep things running smooth—may sometimes feel like a drag 🙄 or even like they were created just to torture kids 😜. But the truth is, without them, the fun stuff kids love—like recess ⚽, games 🎲, and even class trips 🚌—wouldn’t work out at all. Imagine recess with no turns on the swings 🛝, lunch with everyone cutting the line 🍕🤦, and field trips where the bus driver says, “No rules? Great—I’m driving to Disney instead of the museum!” 🎢🏰😂

Now for some practical application: Help Your Child Understand the Concept of Rules Better Using These Practice Activities 

Step 1: Make a List

Ask your kids to think of rules they follow in different parts of life at home. Giving categories makes it less overwhelming and more specific. For example:

  • Kitchen 🍳

  • Bedroom 🛏️

  • Right when you get home from school 🎒

  • Morning routines ⏰

  • Bedtime routines 🌙

  • Car rules 🚗

Step 2: Write Down Examples

Have them come up with simple rules. Example lists could look like:

  • Kitchen: Don’t touch the stove 🔥, Put your dishes in the sink 🍽️

  • Bedroom: No jumping on the bed 🙅, Put dirty clothes in the hamper 🧺

  • After School: Hang up backpack 🎒, Wash hands ✋🧼

  • Morning: Brush teeth 🪥, Make your bed 🛏️

  • Bedtime: Lights out at 8:30 🌙, Quiet voices 🤫

  • Car: Wear a seatbelt 🚗, No yelling 🚫📣

Step 3: Sort Into Two Categories

Now have them split each rule into one of the two categories:

  1. Rules that Keep You Safe 🦺

    • Don’t touch the stove (kitchen)

    • Wear a seatbelt (car)

    • No running down the stairs (home)

  2. Rules that Keep Things Running Smooth 🌀

    • Put dirty clothes in the hamper (bedroom)

    • Hang up your backpack (after school)

    • Lights out at 8:30 (bedtime)

Step 4: Reflect Together 💭

After sorting, ask:

  • Why do you think that rule was made?

  • Would life feel safe if we didn’t have that rule? Would things run smooth if we didn’t have that rule?

This way, kids see that rules aren’t random “kid torture devices” but actually make life safer and smoother for everyone.


📖 Book Spotlight: What If Everybody Did That?

By Ellen Javernick • Illustrated by Colleen M. Madden

This adorable book, filled with entertaining and expressive illustrations, helps children grasp the importance of rules in a way that feels playful and engaging. Through silly but thought-provoking scenarios, kids see what might happen if everyone ignored rules—whether they’re rules that keep us safe or ones that help things run smoothly.

 

 

🌟 Social Skills Highlight

  • Self-Awareness: Every child learns that they as an individual need to follow rules and make thoughtful choices.

  • Social Awareness: Children also see how their actions affect everyone around them—reminding them that rules exist to protect community harmony.

 

 

🎯 Lesson Learned

Rules aren’t here to make life miserable or “just to torture kids.” They’re here for a reason:

  • To keep us safe.

  • To make daily life smoother and more enjoyable.

  • To remind us that our choices matter, not only for ourselves but for others too.

  • 💡 Emphasizing the Value:
    Parents, give this story just a few minutes with your child. The laughter, the learning, and the “aha!” moments are worth every second—you won’t regret it! 🌈👍

 

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